Black Friday Sales I’d Like to See

exxon1970It’s that time of year again when almost every retailer across the nation throws its hat into the ring of Once A Year Sales — at least that’s what they advertise.  I prefer to leave Black Friday to others to camp out in front of stores for outdated tech and other stuff that I didn’t need the day before.  If my life didn’t change radically while I was sleeping, then I don’t need the stuff on Black Friday — even if it’s 30% off.  It’s all merry and bright until the bills come in and then it’s Red Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…

I need to shop more than one day of the year — for anything.  There are no Black Friday/Cyber Monday specials for what I’m shopping for this holiday season.  That said, here are a few sales that I would like to see instead of the same ol’ same ol’ that’s hyped this time every year.

Milk for less than $1 a gallon.   Especially in this age of forced medical insurance, wouldn’t it be nice if grocery stores ran a special that promoted good health.  Besides, with the money saved on milk, perhaps then we could afford a pricey cut of meat — or a lobster in the fish department, more fruits and veggies — healthy food items for which there is never a coupon.

Car dealers were getting in on the madness this year.  I didn’t pay attention to the ads. Seriously, if they’re not offering a 70% discount, I can’t imagine people fighting in the car lots on Black Friday.  I’d rather see a Black Friday Special where gas stations offer gas at 1970s prices — without the gas lines.  A deal like that would give me a little extra money to spend on other things — for one week at least.  It’s the spirit that counts after all.  And they wouldn’t even have to offer free drinking glasses

And since retro is very now, how about selling live Christmas trees for $10.   What’s with the $50, $60, $70 for a tree you can’t even plant in the ground afterwards?  This includes all those non-profits in addition to other retailers.  It wasn’t that many years ago that I used to visit a pop-up lot where I could get a live tree for $20 — any size.  It’s not as if for $50 they’ll also put it in the stand for you.

A Bah Humbug to Dunkin’ Donuts.  They used to promote free coffee on Black Friday so you’d have a caffeine buzz to fuel your shopping.  Those days are gone.  Perhaps it’s because where I used to live there was a DD every ¼ mile…

How about a Black Friday sale at movie theaters with tickets for $3.50?  At that price, the entire family can go and still have money left over for dinner.  Or you can afford the giant bucket of popcorn instead of bringing your own snacks.

Wouldn’t it be nice if instead of giving outrageous bonuses to overpaid executives, banks offered to pay the interest of your mortgage for December when you pay the principal on time?  A way to spread a little cheer to those people who made the bank so profitable and help stimulate the economy.  It would go a long way to putting them on Santa’s ‘nice’ list.

Remember when the internet was new (to the public masses) and all the information was free?  The idea was basically a network of databases for people to share info — freely — from anywhere to anyone.  Then it became illegal to share.  Copyright infringements, proprietary info and all that.  Accounts had to be opened, then you needed a credit card to pay…Did any author ever sue a library for buying one copy of their book and loaning it out to 10,000 people to read?  In the days of vinyl records was anyone ever arrested for borrowing records to listen to or bringing them to a party to play for friends?  Let’s have a Black Friday/Cyber Monday special of totally free info — especially public records.

Since none of these sales existed this year, I spent the day after Thanksgiving finishing up the fall yard work.  There was no one pushing or shoving me.  There were no long checkout lines.  No traffic jams.  My car was not dented from shopping carts or car doors by drivers who can’t park in the middle of the parking space.  And with the money I saved I can now easily pay my usual monthly bills from now until next June.

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