In A Galaxy Close to Home Darth Vader is a Friend of Mine

galaxyclosetohomeAdults of a certain age are anxiously awaiting Christmas this year.  Anticipation is high, expectations greater.  We only want one thing: a movie worthy of the original trilogy.  We saw the original Star Wars movie on the Big Screen (multiple times) and have waited decades for the story to continue.  How will Leia use the force and how will it change her?  Does Luke become the next Obi-Wan or Yoda?  Will Chewbacca babysit for Han Solo and Leia?  After all, everyone needs a Wookie.

I wanted my own R2.  Still do.  I would love to have a computer tower that looks like one — complete with lights, beeps, boops and spitting noises — which had been known to reflect my reactions at the office when I worked in IT because I always got assigned The Projects From Hell.  I simply can no longer afford to custom build my system.  The last time I had to replace the hard drive, I had to replace the motherboard and since they had changed the way they’re installed, I had to then get a new tower as well. Then, when that motherboard had to be replaced, I had to replace the tower again…R2 never needed to have his housing to be replaced to overhaul the working components.  It should be the same with towers.  Reuse the shell and just swap out all the inner components.  R2 should never have to become scrap metal for Jawas.

In keeping with the anthology, The Force Awakens should be released next month instead of December, but I guess they just couldn’t get the effects finished in time.  Hopefully they will at least release an open-captioned version to the theaters.  When the first of the second trilogy series opened, there was one theater — in the next county — that showed open-captioned movies once a month, at 7 pm on a Wednesday.  (They didn’t want to waste prime time and space on 12 deaf people who still had to pay full ticket price.)

I ran into some die-hard Star Wars fans from the office who snuck up behind me, scaring me into spilling my big bucket of popcorn, (That was my dinner!!!) who had come to see the movie for the 26th time, regardless of captions, which they thought were “cool”, especially for the sound effects.  “You must have a captioned TV.  Are the sound effects always captioned?“  It was a novelty for them… These were adults who had constructed their own working lightsabers and would dress up for Halloween at the office and duel with them in the hallways.

Maybe with a Christmas release I won’t have to fight tourists for a seat and hear their chatter through the movie.

As for the second set of movies themselves:  meh.  For me, none are worth seeing more than once.  The effects weren’t all that impressive.  Jar Jar was annoying.  Anakin’s scowling was unnecessary to portray anger.  Ewan McGregor was no Sir Alec, but apparently Liam was too old to play a young Obi-Wan and then Qui-Gon Jinn was eliminated and none of the movies were as exciting or entertaining as the original three movies.  None were fun.

The Halloween mixer was The Event of the year at college and after the release of the first Star Wars movie, a friend of mine was planning to go as Darth Vader, with two others as C-3PO and R2D2.  They had spent months working on their costumes, full character head to toe. R2’s head didn’t swivel, but had lights and sound effects.  They had to arrive early and wait for the doors to open since R2 couldn’t climb the stairs in costume.

There were always prizes for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place which the ‘committee’ actually judged upon entrance for awards later in the evening.  The committee knew instantly that no one would beat the Star Wars costumes, acknowledged the fact to them and apologized they would not receive those awards so that other students would not be disappointed for their paltry costume efforts, but a special award would instead be given to them at the end of the awards ceremony.

I had to laugh when the last award was announced.  C-3PO and R2 had left early since they had a difficult time navigating the room, but had been seen and noted by all. The room became silent as Vader strode towards the stage, black boots stepping forcefully, black robe flowing, belted light saber visible, and the sea of students parted for Vader to pass.  I was one of the few people who knew who was beneath the costume.  Vader had not been seen without his helmet.  (Vader didn’t drink beer or grain alcohol punch.)  The presenter was extremely nervous as Vader approached him.  He didn’t know who Vader was and didn’t want to tick off Vader and have a close encounter with a lightsaber — or The Force.  He gingerly held out an envelope which Vader accepted with a slight nod and bow.

This past winter it seemed that Vader was living on the planet Hoth, there was so much snow.  Hopefully this coming December Vader will be able to shovel out and get to see the next installment. We’re looking forward to seeing Luke and Leia and Han and Chewbacca again.  We want to see R2 do his happy jig again.  We want to laugh and cheer again.  We need A Newer Hope movie.

Hopefully I will be able to get to the movie in December as well, since Vader and I live within a parsec of each other, my car is not equipped with hyperdrive and tauntauns are not to be found in this area.

sfx:  beep whistle fart