Because Everyone Has a Paris

The Sappy Cheesy Heart Holiday is upon us once again espousing overpriced flowers and dinners for two, cheap chocolate in heart-shaped boxes and heart-shaped jewelry as if that’s the only way to show your love.

What a crock.

Granted in recent years other merchants don’t want to miss out on this mid-winter revenue stream and promote gift giving of all kinds (including luggage, but not heart-shaped) for women, men, children, even pets, because everyone needs love and apparently it comes with a (hefty) price tag.

This has resulted in ‘Galentines Day’ parties, which is actually an F You to single women and let single men smirk about how they don’t have to spend any money, since restaurants cater to couples and not groups on Valentines’ Day, reservations are required — weeks in advance, and a group of singles would somehow ruin the atmosphere of romance as if they had leprosy and would infect couples, therefore singles must stay home, eat junk food and watch awful ‘rom com’ movies as some sort of punishment consolation for being a party of one, not two.

That’s just a bunch of hooey. Yes, hooey.  Substitute any other synonym of your choice.

To start, most restaurants serve a limited menu or even only a specific meal for that evening, therefore dinner is the chef’s choice (if the head chef actually works that night) which almost guarantees it won’t be the most memorable meal you’ve ever had, since they’re looking to turn over tables as fast as possible while reaping maximum receipts, with the focus on presentation (think sample sizes) and not savory ohmygodi’mgonnahaveanorgasmmoremoremore dishes, but rather bland minimal fuss prep and cook offerings you can get on any other day for far less money.  Basically they serve ‘wham bam thank you ma’am’, don’t let the door slap you in the ass on the way out meals.

Romance includes passion and passion includes some indulgence such as a petite mignon with a brandy Dijon or bing cherry (with red wine reduction) sauce, not a plain grilled piece of meat. Succulent lobster you dip in clarified butter.  Passion includes spice, so there must be garlic.  Good for the heart, opens those blood vessels and keeps vampires away, so bring on the scampi, garlic crabs, garlic mussels or even Dracula’s Revenge (a dish which is loaded with garlic and gooey cheese) or some fra diavolo.  Stimulating foods, messy dishes you eat slowly to savor each bite.  Life is messy.  So is love.  Spend the evening at home.

Forget the stupid B rom com movies and watch Casablanca instead.  Not a ‘chick flick’ and is a ‘feel good’ movie for both men and women, regardless of marital status.  Drama, intrigue, romance, a love triangle, heartbreak and memorable one-liners.  Everyone has a ‘Paris’ story of their own.  It matters not if you have an ‘ever after’ or the Paris moments have passed and were brief.  There was a time when you had Paris. Even if the relationship wasn’t ‘till death’.  Even more so if it was.  Every romantic relationship has a ‘Paris’ moment.  Remembering Paris will always fill your heart with love forever, even when it’s gone.

Yea, it’s true.  I’m just a rank sentimentalist at heart.  ‘Scuse me while I go round up the usual suspects and make some truly decadent orgasmic inducing brownies because I’ll always have Paris even as time goes by.

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