Food Not Meant to be Eaten

Once upon a time you were the cool kid who had a mom who baked cookies and cake from scratch.  Everyone wanted to come a party with homemade cookies and cake.  Then we grew into adults who were too busy to deal with all the ingredients and measuring, the ‘gently folding’ of chips and nuts and grabbed a cake mix off the supermarket shelf — along with a container of ready-made frosting

These days even a box mix double layer cake with frosting isn’t satisfactory.  Nor is it good enough to ‘paint’ a picture with frosting — even on a cake in the shape of a bunny or Santa face or a flip-flop.  It’s not enough to decorate the house and have matching plates, napkins and goodie bags for a ‘theme’.  Cakes now need to be three-dimensional sculptures for birthdays, weddings, graduations, whatever celebation.

I blame the food porn network shows for this evolutionary excess of food as art. Presentation is what matters, not how edible, regardless the level of your palate.

I actually watched part of one cake show and was repulsed, horrified and disgusted seeing cakes constructed with cardboard, wood, pvc pipes and tools I keep in the garage, which were then covered in fondant (sometimes) and airbrushed with supposedly edible colorings. I think someone even used a blowtorch.  Butter cream frosting is just so 1950s and quite messy trying to mold and sculpt.

People cannot digest wood and paper and pvc. The purpose of these creations is clearly not for human consumption.  It is decoration, art, a statement piece, a ‘look at me’ and ‘can you top this’ attention getting moment.  Dessert it is not.

For those not expert in constructing cakes of skyscraper proportions, toys can easily and creatively be used by the average host/hostess, hence the Barbie doll cake:

This is just creepy. And wrong on several levels for children.

Barbie need not be relegated solely to the princess in training birthday party.  A bowl of fruit is just too mundane for a summer picnic/barbeque/get together.  Instead why not have a Barbie doll fruit extravaganza:

Carmen Miranda had nothing on Barbie.

Some, however, are for mature audiences:

Oops. Barbie forgot to use the buddy system when she went swimming and met up with Bruce…

Let’s not forget the cocktails and appetizer course. The only way to entice your guests to actually eat celery and carrots sticks is all in the presentation:

Who would want to be the first person to eat from this tray?

And there’s always the salad course:

This is food porn going too far…

Good luck trying to teach children not to play with their food. They’ll be sticking dolls and other toys in their food and munching on them.  Food porn can be dangerous and it’s no time to be without medical insurance.  As for tools, they are far too expensive to use solely to play with food.  Instead I have multiple sets of measuring cups and spoons.

I serve food meant to be eaten — regardless how it looks.  I don’t shop for my ingredients at Home Depot.  No one needs to use any power tools to eat at my table.  As for toys, they are simply not meant to be eaten.

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